Why I Don’t Write About 9/11
September 11, 2007
I’m hesitant to post on a day like today. I don’t know what to write about. Something normal? Something deep, gripping, gritty? Something emotional, intense? Something reflective, honoring, respectful? Nothing at all?
So I check out my Bloglines and see what other people are writing.
Surreally honest as always, Penelope Trunk accounts the moments the World Trade Center fell – almost on top of her – as she stood in the middle of the mayhem. She tells how that experience reframed her perspective about things. Her husband, her to-do list. But it’s not exactly what you expect. It makes me think.
I’m getting ready to fly tomorrow. No big deal. My boss just flew in this morning from NYC. His hotel overlooked ground zero. He showed me a picture from his phone that looks like the one on CNN. For a second, we all stop and remember. Say a few words. Get back to work.
That’s how it is in so many parts of our country. We take a minute. Look. Think. Go on.
For a long time, I’ve thought that was a bad thing. I felt sort of ashamed of my experience with 9/11. I was in a journalism class when it happened. I left class and went to the hub of activity on campus. Hundreds of students were camped out in front of the big screen, watching things happen. I watched. I thought. I felt anxious, but not scared. Angry, but not distraught. Unfamiliar. Lost. Confused. I waited.
At home later that day, I sat riveted to my TV. Horrified at myself. I couldn’t figure out how I felt. Too safe, maybe. Like this was a really scary movie, and that was all. I kept reminding myself that I lived 30 minutes from a large military target, and it could happen there too. It didn’t seem to matter. It wasn’t me this happened to. It was someone else.
I wrote a lot. For a long time. Poetry, journal entries, all kinds of things. I wrote. I tried to feel. It was so numb. It all played out on TV before me. It was someone else’s experience. I was oddly a little jealous of this fact. Not that I wanted the pain, the horror, or even really to be there at all. But that I wanted it all to seem more real to me somehow.
Sure, that day is riveted in my memory. I remember sights, smells, images on the TV. It made me look at the world differently. It made me question so many more things. It spurred incredible conversations and debates. But it wasn’t personal – not really. It didn’t get stuck in my psyche, make me afraid of airplanes. Didn’t make me non-functional. Ever, really. And that, I thought, was probably a horrible, bad, awful thing.
That’s how I’ve felt about 9/11 – sort of like an outsider, trying to figure it all out, trying to make it real. That’s why I didn’t really ever write about it much again. And if I did, never really for others to read. I didn’t know what to say. Until I read Penelope’s post today. And something about reading it made that experience so real to me. It was no longer someone else’s nightmare. Something to intellectualize about. Now, something to acknowledge. To remember. To feel. To write about.
To learn from. So in closing, I’ll just share a quote from her post. I think it’s one of the most important lessons what everyone - whether they were there that day or not – can learn from this “shared” societal event:
“…Here’s what I am giving up. The idea that every second could be my last second. Because then you are not living life. Yes, it’s true, work is not as meaningful as family. And yes, it’s true, I did not think about my to-do list when I faced death. But if you’re not dead, your to-do list matters. Because that’s what life is. Life is getting up and going to work on things that are high on your list. Work in your pajamas, maybe, or in a corn field, or in the car to drive the kids to school. It’s all work. It’s what we’re doing here. And it’s a treat. … This is my life, unfolding. It’s my dream come true. It’s not unfolding like I thought it would, but I’m getting to watch it. Thank god.”
The Secret to Engaging Your Brain
September 5, 2007
Recently, a nifty little gadget called the Nintendo DS was introduced into my life. I was skeptical at first, I must say. Like many in my generation, I grew up with Mario, Duck Hunt, Zelda, you know, the original Nintendo gang. I had my ventures into PC games, starting with Ski and evolving into hours spent on SimCity, Myst, etc. My dad was an early adopter on most any technology, so it’s always been around. My mom used to have to almost literally pry me away from the computer or gaming system. But somewhere between Excite Bike and now, save the occasional Saturday afternoon with Guitar Hero or SSX, I lost that gaming urge.
Until DS and a neat little game called Brain Age entered into the picture. I will say, it was a not-too-hidden attempt by my boyfriend to seek my approval of the device when we sauntered into the local game shop to pick up the game. But now, here I am again, waiting for my turn spending every spare moment I can testing my prowess on skill tests like Sign Finder (a simple math drill where you have to see how quickly you can give the correct sign in a given equation to a series of problems) and Piano Player (essentially what it sounds like). I even joined the Sudoku obsession with its easy to learn tutorials. The game even offers daily “Brain Age” checks where it gives you an approximation of your brain’s age. And since I’m a total geek, I totally dig it. I try to play every day. So much I’ve logged more hours than my boyfriend (on his own device!) Now, I’m even considering branching out to more play oriented games. I seriously love it. It’s refreshing and exhiliraing to do something for the pure fun of it.
So, what does all this have to do with anything I usually blog about? A lot, it turns out. In grad school, I’ve run across a concept called play theory. Essentially, it looks at the activity and rites that make up play in a lot of different and interesting ways. And there’s a lot of interesting research on the concept.
An organization called the National Institute for Play defines play as: “a state of being that is intensely pleasurable. It energizes and enlivens us. It eases our burdens, renews a natural sense of optimism and opens us up to new possibilities. These wonderful, valuable qualities are just the beginning of what play is.” Peppy though the definition is, they are serious about play, outlining eight patterns of play. Their research is fascinating. They offer interesting perspectives into cases such as that of Charles Whitman, suicidal mass murderer, whose life was has been classified as play deprived - which a committee found to be the leading cause of his eventual horrendous acts. A worst case scenario that illustrates the importance of play in normal human development.
Turns out, play is vital to health, relationships and education according to the institute. And interestingly enough, they also emphasize the value of play in corporate life.
So there you have it. Play. It’s important - for creativity, innovation, ideation, complex thinking, for our brains. It’s more than just taking a break or enjoying a minute of relaxation. It’s an active, conscious, enjoyable process. And it’s healthy - even vital. So go ahead. Play. Don’t feel guilty about picking up the Xbox or digging out your kid’s Lego’s for a half hour or so. You deserve it. And if you just take a few minutes each day for guilt-free, all holds barred play time, your blog, co-workers, work product, family and body will thank you.
Give yourself permission to play.
Classic Reads: Edition the First
August 31, 2007
One of the things I love about new media is that it’s dynamic, ever-evolving and always offering up new content. New! Shiny! Reads! Every day! It’s an exciting world.
But just like with classic literature, there are so many pearls tucked away in the archives of blogs across the globe that still offer wisdom and insight today. And since Internet years are likened to dog years, anything more than a year old is pretty much ancient history. So this occasional feature will highlight some very solid, relevant reads around the blogosphere to dust off and enjoy.
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Make a Story Out of Your Career – Penelope Trunk illustrates the power of storytelling in job interviews, on the job and through your career.
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Make Something Happen – Seth Godin delivers one of my personal favorite motivational posts of all time.
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Getting To Done: Down With Piles – Keith Robinson at Lifehacker offers simple ways to de-pile your life.
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A Poem for All of Us Bloggers – Guy Kawasaki points bloggers to a 1959 poem, “There Is No Indispensable Man.” A good thing to remember, and the poem is terrific.
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The Blog Trinity - Tony Bloomberg at Diva Marketing shares her take on the core elements of blogging in no more than three words.
